what do you do when you have so much to say that you’re too overwhelmed to write?

I’ve decided that my newest long-distance goal is getting into the Ph.D program at UCAL Santa Barbara. The program requires you to live for a year in the respective region of study (for me, the Mediterranean), and Santa Barbara is probably insanely beautiful. I’m ready to get out of the South, and probably for good. Its been holding me back, for sure, and California is my best option out.

my parents constantly warn me about having a blog and a facebook. they forward/cut out articles about companies not hiring/firing employees because of stuff they read on their blog/facebook. that’s just ridiculous. this is the internet. its like a 4th dimension society, an imaginary wonderland where anything goes cuz everything goes, and all you have to do is google it. GOOGLE, people. we have Google. case in point. honestly, i don’t care what you have on your website because websites can’t hurt people any more than an obscene painting or rock and roll music. (two girls one cup was almost painful, but the reaction videos made it worthwhile.) on top of that, there are so many websites, i’m one single grain of salt in a big ass jar of salt that magically keeps growing. with rainbows. and unicorns.

my only concern is actual people i know reading the blog and giving me shit for it later. its a friggin BLOG. the whole point of it is to say things you’d never say out loud in the most public way possible, and its not like i’m not thinking it already so why does it matter if i put it on the internet? i guess it sucks if the people i know, know each other, so to avoid all this nonsense i deleted my known blog and made up this one. only one friend of mine knows this one, and that’s only because he actually appreciated the old one, and that’s always totally sweet.

(i write this because i may or may not have leaked my blog to someone i’m trying to work for, and i may or may not have blown it. )

all i gotta say is that anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. anything anyone says should be, for that matter, and i think the world would be a lot less unpleasant if people took this into account more often.

so to top off my super excellent day, as i was backing out of the kroger parking lot today, some lady backed into me. ok, we backed into each other. it was a mutual effort. GREAT. now one more cop can tell me that my license is still suspended and i shouldn’t be driving. thanks officer, this was brought to my attention 3 hours ago. fucking a. good thing it was on private property, cuz he said he would have arrested me otherwise. thanks officer. you are an excellent dude. now my milk is warm. goddamn it.

they all fucking suck.

they have never done anything good for me.

all they do is give me grief and make me pay ostentatious ticket fines for ridiculous offenses like turning right onto a street where the sign said no right turn. OMFG.

they are all worthless shitholes who take sick, sadistic pride in their jobs.

i hope to God the reap their just deserts.

now you know why God miscarried your baby, dickhead.

now you know why the closest you ever get to a woman is arresting a prostitute.

now you know why you suck.

i fucking hate them.

UPDATE: Ok, so maybe when I initially wrote this, I was a little hotheaded and may have said something out of line. However, the whole reason I was in the car was because a friend needed me to pick her up down by school, and she wouldn’t listen to my directions and kept going in the wrong direction, and I in my effort to compensate I made an illegal RIGHT turn. I didn’t know my license was suspended until I was pulled over. Then, somewhere in between my car and the motorcycle the cop lost my ID and made me sit there for 10 minutes while he looked for it. What a dumb fuck. When he finally got his shit together, I was late for a meeting, I was furious with my friend, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. He then had the audacity to say, “You’re gonna give me an attitude? I was gonna give you a break, but not if…nuh huh…” Christ dude give me my ticket before the demons come out. Please. For the children. So after committing a bogus traffic offense I leave with two tickets with my friend driving because my license is suspended and he won’t let me. The icing on the cake: she just started learning how to drive. She’s older than me. Fucking strike me already, God. (02/21/0